the Scarlet, the Scarlet
how high do you fly?
the flame on your wings is as red as the sky
it was truely a sensation
of equal perspiration
when man created you
oh bloody, oh bloody
oh sweet Scarlet you
how lovely and faithiful is this boody do?
a wound that does not sit well
on the gates of true hell
cannot be as grateful as you
oh Ellis, oh Ellis
can you no more feel
the gunshot and root rot of this the old reel?
just a more 0f two tone
makes the soul grow alone
and clams for my only last meal
Monday, January 26, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
A Gangster Opera
' A sunset is extremely un-natural in it's very nature.
Not only does it signal the ending of the day (which is completely unreliable), but I never seem to hear and Indiana-esque theme, no matter how many times I ride into it'
Not only does it signal the ending of the day (which is completely unreliable), but I never seem to hear and Indiana-esque theme, no matter how many times I ride into it'
Frank had a lot of deep thoughts like this. He liked the way he thought.
It sounded like the perfect narration to the inevitable biopic about his grand life.
And by life, i mean soon to be future life.
And by grand I mean that he will become the biggest pot fiend ever to walk down the streets of Detroit.
It sounded like the perfect narration to the inevitable biopic about his grand life.
And by life, i mean soon to be future life.
And by grand I mean that he will become the biggest pot fiend ever to walk down the streets of Detroit.
As his wrist rested upon the cool sheet of white that was the blackboard, he completely forgot that he was supposed to be writing simple algebra.
'Back to the problem at hand I guess'
Graph the quadratic equation: x= -3 +or - the square root of 3(squared) minus 4 times 7 times 1 all over 2 times 7.
Graph the quadratic equation: x= -3 +or - the square root of 3(squared) minus 4 times 7 times 1 all over 2 times 7.
'OK....(Lamaze breath)...three... times three is.....Aw shit.'
He needed to erase the sloppy 5.
Instead of just grabbing an eraser, his brain opted to just using his sleeve.
He needed to erase the sloppy 5.
Instead of just grabbing an eraser, his brain opted to just using his sleeve.
His brain immediately regretted that decision.
Now there was chalk all over his black longsleve.
'How come the chalk seems to only attract to black clothing?
It's like jocks to a bunsen burner.'
All the dust seemed to be army crawling up his arm, like a sickness.
His whole forearm was now covered in a smokey haze.
' Where to wipe it, where to wipe it?'
His crotch seemed to be the only clean place left, so it would have to do.
eh. eh. eh.
What is that feeling!?
"FRANK!!! WHY AREN'T YOU WRITING!!!"
He turned around, with now a very large white powdered area on the front of his pants.
Sort of like a donut with no hole in the center.
Every eye in the entire classroom opened wide until their lids split.
Frank had never been so embarrassed in his life.
It seemed as if everyone was completely fixated on him, not even pretending that they weren't staring.
But they were not staring at him. As a matter of fact no one was even in the classroom.
That's because this had happened a week earlier, and instead of staring while sitting in their seats, they now stare in the hallway. A hallway in which his head is throbbing and his blood is pooling on the floor.
Frank's jaw cracks as it is hit with another punch.
The plaster was lucky not to crack as his head smacks off the studs. His skin rattles as his skull whiplashes, almost bending into his back. He hits the ground not even losing his momentum.
Splots of red start to form in his irises. All he can do is stare up at those tiny black fists.
Not to sound racist, but the whole gang looks alike.
The only way to tell them apart is by the size of their fists.
Jackie has the largest fists, big and red, since he does some amateur boxing on the side (a suggestion from his counselor). Bobby O. has the next largest fists. Then Tame-runna.
Bobby S. has a least a centimeter less girth than him. And Frank has the smallest fists in the entire group, which is funny since he is bigger than Bobby O.
Even though his fists are tiny, they hurt the most since all the power is focused on one place. Why the hell did Frank have to have the same name as the biggest s*** in the school?
"Get up, you punker little b*t*h! My fists ain't even begun to make REAL marks in that pretty whitey emo ass of yours!"
Frank really was white. His naturally greazy black hair didn't help him look to tan.
All he could do was slmash it down to one side, which gave him no choice than to hang out with the ugc crowd.
'Gum? ...No. A tooth'
(spew). 'Damn...To bad I'm not a Flyer'
Sunday, January 18, 2009
A hidden Couplet
A dialogue from the movie "Very Formal Dishonor"
Margret and Benjamin had been talking in the parlor about the scandal involving one of the teachers at the school where Margret goes to school.
(a doorbell rings)
Margret: The doorbell always rings at the most unfortunate times. If the girl were to answer the door like she was supposed to, down time would not have to be inturupted.
Benjamin: I must say the girl has become very lazy. She does talk to the street outside her cellar window. *Scoff* Like there was a real person.
Laurry: Is Analise there Miss Margret? I would say that she hasn't the job of passing out papers for the Post lately.
Margret: The girl isn't allowed to leave the house since the accident there. I'd like to see her try to leave, the little tramp. Like she would have anywhere to go!
Laurry: Could you tell her to come out soon.I have someone i'd like her to meet.
(the phone rings)
Margret and Benjamin had been talking in the parlor about the scandal involving one of the teachers at the school where Margret goes to school.
(a doorbell rings)
Margret: The doorbell always rings at the most unfortunate times. If the girl were to answer the door like she was supposed to, down time would not have to be inturupted.
Benjamin: I must say the girl has become very lazy. She does talk to the street outside her cellar window. *Scoff* Like there was a real person.
Laurry: Is Analise there Miss Margret? I would say that she hasn't the job of passing out papers for the Post lately.
Margret: The girl isn't allowed to leave the house since the accident there. I'd like to see her try to leave, the little tramp. Like she would have anywhere to go!
Laurry: Could you tell her to come out soon.I have someone i'd like her to meet.
(the phone rings)
Letter to a Baby Book
Baby Brother
You'll never be a senator, like dad wanted.
Or a pro-footballer, also like dad wanter.
But you'll always be loved, like mom wanted.
And though you lay there, cold and pale, perfectly healthy,
You weren't okay.
Mom wasn't okay, and dad wasn't okay, and all everyone who sent you cards wasn't okay.
The priest was worried for them. I would've been too. But i wasn't even in the works then.
You almost shared my name. Do you still want it?
It's cute, but not my style. Better than Augie, right?
And though you'll never buy me beer, although you'd be to good for that,
it's nice to know that i would have had the option.
"Our baby never came home, but will live in our hearts forever"
Say hi to dad for me, won't you.
Thinking of you, Brother.
You'll never be a senator, like dad wanted.
Or a pro-footballer, also like dad wanter.
But you'll always be loved, like mom wanted.
And though you lay there, cold and pale, perfectly healthy,
You weren't okay.
Mom wasn't okay, and dad wasn't okay, and all everyone who sent you cards wasn't okay.
The priest was worried for them. I would've been too. But i wasn't even in the works then.
You almost shared my name. Do you still want it?
It's cute, but not my style. Better than Augie, right?
And though you'll never buy me beer, although you'd be to good for that,
it's nice to know that i would have had the option.
"Our baby never came home, but will live in our hearts forever"
Say hi to dad for me, won't you.
Thinking of you, Brother.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
my life: as told to Cassie
zeikiskewl: i know i just kinda yelleda t yu for not talking to me, but im not in a great mood, so i wont be taking too mcuh.
Brick9011: im srre.
Brick9011: do you mind if i talk?
zeikiskewl: go ahead
Brick9011: i don't really know where to start
Brick9011: i guess i will with me
Brick9011: i was born December 15th, 1993
Brick9011: in dayton ohio
Brick9011: i was neighboors with a family named the boones
Brick9011: they had a son, chad( who is my god father), and a daughter erin
Brick9011: my sisters played with a girl down the street named katie, who a couple of years ago went blind
Brick9011: when i was about 6 months old, we moved to latrobe
Brick9011: we moved into a house by mountain view, which is now mari haffners house
Brick9011: we lived across the street from annie cavalier (my sisters played with her)
Brick9011: we lived in that house for about 2 and a half years
Brick9011: during that time, my sisters started to play t-ball
Brick9011: we moved to my current house when i was 3
Brick9011: it was built by my sisters best friend ashley's father, my uncle regis
Brick9011: hes not really my uncle
Brick9011: its weird i know
Brick9011: during that time i started to play soccer, which i didnt like cuz the kids wouldnt share the ball
Brick9011: i enjoyed spending time with my grandmother, nannie
Brick9011: she visited frequently, and we drove out to ohio often
Brick9011: she was a school teacher, so she taught me how to read
Brick9011: i could read before i entered kindergarten
Brick9011: actually, probably like year before
Brick9011: anyway, in 1999 she died from cancer
Brick9011: she was a smoker
Brick9011: she lived with us for the last few months of her life
Brick9011: a hospital bed was set up in our den, and a group of nurses came daily to help her abut
Brick9011: *about
Brick9011: i think the last memory of my grandmother was her being carried outside of our house in a big black box
Brick9011: in kindergarten i had mrs. hewitt for a teacher
Brick9011: the day i remember most was the day we went to see ali baba at the town hall down by where bryce did LSOH
Brick9011: i didnt recognize any of the kids there that day
Brick9011: i always thought that it was because i accidentally went in the afternoon class, instead of the normal morning
Brick9011: i now think that it was just because all of my class mates were dressed up
Brick9011: in 1st grade i had mrs. wenek for my teacher
Brick9011: she would always have a story time and read junie b. jones books to us
Brick9011: i always loved those books.
Brick9011: they got stupid when she went to 1st grade though
Brick9011: ty lydic threw up under a table during story time
Brick9011: later that day, lexie pelchen threw up on her way to the nurse
Brick9011: luckily in a trash can
Brick9011: mrs. wenek would always make fun of a kid named robert, red haired kid with freckles
Brick9011: he would call him "Roberto Clemente" which i just thought was funny
Brick9011: she would also take away his and colin cimba's chair when they misbehaved
Brick9011: at the halloween party, i was harry potter
Brick9011: this little girl with black hair was dressed as belle
Brick9011: who would think that i would be deeply in love with her today
Brick9011: after that, we really werent friends until 5th grade
Brick9011: i was extremely terrified of my principla
Brick9011: *principal
Brick9011: one day she yelled at us and told us not to bang our trays off the garbage can to get the mashed potatos off
Brick9011: she said that a teacher could slip and fall and hurt their back, mentioning something called a "lawsuit"
Brick9011: another important moment in 1st grade was that one day during recess, 2 boys got into a fight
Brick9011: i was watching with kayla durick and lexie pelchen, my 2 best friends, and thought it would be funny to yell "FIGHT!""FIGHT!"
Brick9011: like they would do in the tv specials i would watch
Brick9011: after a good laugh, we went and saw miss tina, to tell them about the fight
Brick9011: i didnt think anything of it
Brick9011: later while sitting in class, i was called down to the principals office
Brick9011: while sitting in one of the two charis in front of the secretary, i turned to one of the little boys actually in the fight and shrugged
Brick9011: as to say "i dont know what i'm doing here"
Brick9011: he shrugged back
Brick9011: he obviously knew what he did, but probably just didnt understand the gesture
Brick9011: when i was called into the offfice, mrs. patton asked me what i did during recess
Brick9011: once she had wormed out of me that i had said the word fight, she got angry
Brick9011: she told me that yelling fight during a fight, as to cheer it on, was a federal offense
Brick9011: i started to cry
Brick9011: i really just didnt want her to tell my parents
Brick9011: i hadent gotten spanked in a while, and i didnt plan on starting then
Brick9011: she let me go with 2 days off of recess, in her office doing work
Brick9011: when i got back to class, natalie medic wrote me a not to try to make me feel better
Brick9011: i didnt
Brick9011: just a lot worse cuz i felt like a P*s*y
Brick9011: i didnt tell my parents
Brick9011: and to this day believe that they still dont know
Brick9011: as i mentioned earlier, kayla durick was one of my best friends
Brick9011: during gym class in the spring, we started to square dance
Brick9011: i really wanted her for my partner
Brick9011: cuz she was sort of pretty
Brick9011: dam it all when i got amber morrisson, the girl that sucks on her sweatshirt sleeves, and then pulls them over her hands
Brick9011: i picked up on it quickly, and decided to be in the square dancing night, a demonstration night for the parents
Brick9011: i wasnt kayla's partner, but i did dance with her during the fun dance afterwards
Brick9011: that same year,i tried out for the jump rope team
Brick9011: so did lexie pelchen
Brick9011: i made it, she didnt
Brick9011: i started the team in 2nd grade, and went with it through 5th
Brick9011: in 2nd grade i had mrs. harvey, the mother of the high schools spanish teacher
Brick9011: some say she was a mean old bat, but she was always my favorite teacher
Brick9011: she was very big on spelling, and writing in cursive
Brick9011: she would meticulously check over our cursive worksheets, but i think it was really all just for show
Brick9011: we also played a game called cherry pie, which is like sparkle, the spelling game
Brick9011: nothing really exciting happened in 2nd grade, except for that i left square dancing night before i got to dance with kayla in the fun dance
Brick9011: in third grade, i had miss kladney
Brick9011: she always had this really black lip hair that never seemed to go away
Brick9011: im not sure if she just didnt notice, or it grew back really fast
Brick9011: we learned our multiplacation tables that year
Brick9011: i did have a little trouble,
Brick9011: that year i also got into the GOAL program
Brick9011: every year, i waited for international day
Brick9011: it was the best day of the year
Brick9011: i was so upset that i had to miss it in 2nd grade, because i had a meeting for my confirmation
Brick9011: but how happy i was that not only would i be there, i would be IN international day
Brick9011: i did my project on slovenia, a small country in the middle of europer
Brick9011: *europe
Brick9011: i did the project with my next door neighbor, lauren hennessy, who had also just joined GOAl
Brick9011: when we were making a dish for the food court, a tradishional nut bread, i think i first realized that i had an allergy to some nuts
Brick9011: after the taste test, my throat felt all tight and hot, and i was dizzy and weak
Brick9011: i had to go home and lie down
Brick9011: i thought that i was going to throw up
Brick9011: but i didnt
Brick9011: also in third grade, we started to do science
Brick9011: like real science
Brick9011: we would mix iodine with a starch liqud, and it would change coloer
Brick9011: *colors
Brick9011: i was partnered with jeff elam, and 2 girls
Brick9011: he started to bang his head off his folder to be funny, because he wasnt with his friends, so i did too
Brick9011: we both had to stay in for 10 minutes of recess that day
Brick9011: in 4th grade i had mrs. mcnair
Brick9011: the only thing that i really remember is that we did a play on the rain forest
Brick9011: i was the 3 toed sloth, so i had to speak slowly, which was hard for me
Brick9011: we made our masks in art class
Brick9011: i covered mine in string, to make it look like fur
Brick9011: it was pretty nifty
Brick9011: also, we did this project with animals
Brick9011: centepides, crabs, crickets and frogs
Brick9011: i really wanted to keep a crab
Brick9011: or a frog
Brick9011: or even a centepide
Brick9011: i got nothing
Brick9011: and that b**** emily shuhart got like 3 frogs
Brick9011: it sucked
Brick9011: in 5th grade i had mr. hixon
Brick9011: BEST
Brick9011: TEACHER
Brick9011: EVER
Brick9011: he was my social studies teacher
Brick9011: oneday, he brought in a hide from a buffalo
Brick9011: and talked about the plains
Brick9011: and how they would burn cow patties because they didnt have any wood
Brick9011: everyone thought it was gross, and said that they werent going to be able to eat lunch
Brick9011: i said that too, but i gobbled my lunch down, cuz i wanted to get back to class
Brick9011: that year, my science teacher was mr. kester
Brick9011: he gave us the sex talk
Brick9011: "now kids, say it with me.... PENIS. PENIS. PENIS. P-E-N-I-S. now luke, dont laugh"
Brick9011: it was so hard not to laugh
Brick9011: also, he was our english teacher
Brick9011: he had us make word searches our of our spelling words
Brick9011: one day i found the word 'ass
Brick9011: in the scrambles letters
Brick9011: i told mr. kester, and he made the girl that wrote it apologize
Brick9011: she was really sorry, and was afraid that i found it "offnsive"
Brick9011: i felt bad for her
Brick9011: cuz i thought it was just really funny
Brick9011: on a side note, our teacher fed his plants black coffe
Brick9011: e
Brick9011: he snuck it from the teachers lounge
Brick9011: not sure why
Brick9011: that year, my math teacher was my old preeschool teacher
Brick9011: she had gotten remarried
Brick9011: that year i also rebecame friends with "belle"
Brick9011: she was really into musicals
Brick9011: i could never understand them
Brick9011: but she liked them, so i liked them
Brick9011: she was in LOVE with the PHANTOM OF THE OPERA
Brick9011: especially the man in the movie, gerard butler
Brick9011: this man must die
Brick9011: from then on i was obsessed with her
Brick9011: 6th grade was incredibly boring
Brick9011: i had Mrs. zorch for english, mr. zavatsky for science, and mrs. lapresti for social studies
Brick9011: mrs lapresti kicked MAJA ASSAGE!!!
Brick9011: she was so cool
Brick9011: she had us completely teach ourselves a whole chapter, and then make a pop up book about what we learned
Brick9011: i wrapped mine as a "mummie" in tea soaked gauze
Brick9011: it was sooo cool
Brick9011: mr. zavatsky was a douch
Brick9011: e
Brick9011: *douche
Brick9011: he would never teach us any thing
Brick9011: he would get way off track, like from making paper, to a good zuchinni recipie
Brick9011: although the unit in which we made paper was fun
Brick9011: mrs. zorch was okay
Brick9011: looking back, she wasnt that great
Brick9011: we read books about the holocaust,and wrote poetry
Brick9011: i wrote mine on wicked
Brick9011: it was 3 pages
Brick9011: AND. it rhymed
Brick9011: hoo baby
Brick9011: of course, elly's was 5 pages about figure skating, and she didnt have to try to rhyme somthing with 'dear old shiz'
Brick9011: mine still rocked though
Brick9011: mrs. zorch smiled alot
Brick9011: sortof like pre-botox generation
Brick9011: in 7th grade, i went to the jr. high
Brick9011: during orientation, i discovered B.O
Brick9011: i had never found the need to wear deodorant until now
Brick9011: i was freaked about the idea of having to undress in school for gym
Brick9011: but i got over it
Brick9011: mrs. manges was my fav. teach
Brick9011: mr. burnette was closeted queet
Brick9011: *queet
Brick9011: *queer
Brick9011: mrs. bell was really tan
Brick9011: mrs. plundo was okay, but i fell asleep in her class, and had to try to hide a little sumthin sumthin behind a book
Brick9011: i forget my history teachers name, but we watched ghandi, and learned about religion . pretty cool
Brick9011: mrs. hoops was fun for a bit, but then got really controlling, and i didnt understand the concept of 'cells'
Brick9011: then i had trimester
Brick9011: mrs. wade=old botox ass
Brick9011: art= amazing lady, sorta reminded me of my grandmother
Brick9011: and i didnt do music, because i was in band and chorus
Brick9011: then i learned the wonders of the pribby
Brick9011: what a fun fun time
Brick9011: for most of the year, i thought i was mostly well liked in choral cats
Brick9011: turns out i was wrong
Brick9011: "belle" really was my only friend, besides my friends that abused me verbally, which i severly dislike now
Brick9011: as of 8th grade, i am no longer friends with those people
Brick9011: also, there was this kid named BRYCE
Brick9011: he was kinda cool
Brick9011: really good voice
Brick9011: and funny
Brick9011: i slapped him when i felt necessary, which i thought was funny
Brick9011: he didnt so mucjh
Brick9011: *much
Brick9011: i have learned to supress those urges
Brick9011: i was in FKF, which was i made most of my friends
Brick9011: michelle,amber,bryce,megan,sanye,amanda,somewhat lucas
Brick9011: adam and trevor really didnt acknowledge me
Brick9011: that spring, katti grosso happened
Brick9011: it was sorta weird
Brick9011: like i knew her
Brick9011: but not really well
Brick9011: so when she asked me out, i had to say no
Brick9011: but after some coaching from my parents, i asked for another chance
Brick9011: it went pretty good for a while
Brick9011: i met some ass Sh** called "nick" who thought he was black
Brick9011: aparently him and katti had sort of a history
Brick9011: at my pool party, every one was like "why havent you kissed her"
Brick9011: the tension seemed to get to her
Brick9011: during finding nemo, we both just looked at eachother and *pop*
Brick9011: 10 minutes later, *pop*
Brick9011: before she left, *pop*
Brick9011: i was testing out this new found body part called 'lips'
Brick9011: that didnt last very long
Brick9011: but it was fun
Brick9011: 8th grade
Brick9011: boring
Brick9011: got new friends
Brick9011: jess, rach, adam, trev, mick,
Brick9011: oh wair
Brick9011: *wait
Brick9011: something else happend
Brick9011: what was it...
Brick9011: ...
Brick9011: OH YEAH
Brick9011: i meet this really awesome chick named cassie, and was like "woah. this girl is too rock for me to handle"
Brick9011: but she turned out to be really fun
Brick9011: and cool
Brick9011: and a dancer
Brick9011: so we became basically best friends
Brick9011: it was mucho gusto
Brick9011: (idk what that means. doesnt even make sense in spanish)
Brick9011: godspell was fun
Brick9011: met shawnway, miss r, and miss j.
Brick9011: f***ed up a solo
Brick9011: and F***ed up a speech in the guys dressing room
Brick9011: summer
Brick9011: hung out with cass and bryce alittle but
Brick9011: *bit
Brick9011: 9th grade was good
Brick9011: *is good
Brick9011: i had finally found my niche
Brick9011: although i had a little faith crisis over the summer, i was sure that with a little counseling that i could handle it
Brick9011: i had good classed, good friends
Brick9011: a good part in the musical
Brick9011: although i dint see cassie as much
Brick9011: but she did have an awesome halloween party
Brick9011: and it was well
Brick9011: well, except for rach.
Brick9011: but were cool now.
Brick9011: i'm dont
Brick9011: *done
Brick9011: u still there
Brick9011: ?
zeikiskewl: yeah
Brick9011: was that enough talking
Brick9011: ?
zeikiskewl: yeah
Brick9011: you okay?
zeikiskewl: yeah
Brick9011: is that all you can say?
zeikiskewl: i dont really know what to say, are you mad?
Brick9011: no
Brick9011: why?
Brick9011: i just got alot off my chest
zeikiskewl: well thank you, for telling me all of that
Brick9011: thanks for listening
Brick9011: and im really sorry that im not coming tomorrow
Brick9011: i really do miss you cassie
zeikiskewl: i miss you too
Brick9011: 11:50:08 PM):
Brick9011: thats when this whole schpiel started
Brick9011: im srre.
Brick9011: do you mind if i talk?
zeikiskewl: go ahead
Brick9011: i don't really know where to start
Brick9011: i guess i will with me
Brick9011: i was born December 15th, 1993
Brick9011: in dayton ohio
Brick9011: i was neighboors with a family named the boones
Brick9011: they had a son, chad( who is my god father), and a daughter erin
Brick9011: my sisters played with a girl down the street named katie, who a couple of years ago went blind
Brick9011: when i was about 6 months old, we moved to latrobe
Brick9011: we moved into a house by mountain view, which is now mari haffners house
Brick9011: we lived across the street from annie cavalier (my sisters played with her)
Brick9011: we lived in that house for about 2 and a half years
Brick9011: during that time, my sisters started to play t-ball
Brick9011: we moved to my current house when i was 3
Brick9011: it was built by my sisters best friend ashley's father, my uncle regis
Brick9011: hes not really my uncle
Brick9011: its weird i know
Brick9011: during that time i started to play soccer, which i didnt like cuz the kids wouldnt share the ball
Brick9011: i enjoyed spending time with my grandmother, nannie
Brick9011: she visited frequently, and we drove out to ohio often
Brick9011: she was a school teacher, so she taught me how to read
Brick9011: i could read before i entered kindergarten
Brick9011: actually, probably like year before
Brick9011: anyway, in 1999 she died from cancer
Brick9011: she was a smoker
Brick9011: she lived with us for the last few months of her life
Brick9011: a hospital bed was set up in our den, and a group of nurses came daily to help her abut
Brick9011: *about
Brick9011: i think the last memory of my grandmother was her being carried outside of our house in a big black box
Brick9011: in kindergarten i had mrs. hewitt for a teacher
Brick9011: the day i remember most was the day we went to see ali baba at the town hall down by where bryce did LSOH
Brick9011: i didnt recognize any of the kids there that day
Brick9011: i always thought that it was because i accidentally went in the afternoon class, instead of the normal morning
Brick9011: i now think that it was just because all of my class mates were dressed up
Brick9011: in 1st grade i had mrs. wenek for my teacher
Brick9011: she would always have a story time and read junie b. jones books to us
Brick9011: i always loved those books.
Brick9011: they got stupid when she went to 1st grade though
Brick9011: ty lydic threw up under a table during story time
Brick9011: later that day, lexie pelchen threw up on her way to the nurse
Brick9011: luckily in a trash can
Brick9011: mrs. wenek would always make fun of a kid named robert, red haired kid with freckles
Brick9011: he would call him "Roberto Clemente" which i just thought was funny
Brick9011: she would also take away his and colin cimba's chair when they misbehaved
Brick9011: at the halloween party, i was harry potter
Brick9011: this little girl with black hair was dressed as belle
Brick9011: who would think that i would be deeply in love with her today
Brick9011: after that, we really werent friends until 5th grade
Brick9011: i was extremely terrified of my principla
Brick9011: *principal
Brick9011: one day she yelled at us and told us not to bang our trays off the garbage can to get the mashed potatos off
Brick9011: she said that a teacher could slip and fall and hurt their back, mentioning something called a "lawsuit"
Brick9011: another important moment in 1st grade was that one day during recess, 2 boys got into a fight
Brick9011: i was watching with kayla durick and lexie pelchen, my 2 best friends, and thought it would be funny to yell "FIGHT!""FIGHT!"
Brick9011: like they would do in the tv specials i would watch
Brick9011: after a good laugh, we went and saw miss tina, to tell them about the fight
Brick9011: i didnt think anything of it
Brick9011: later while sitting in class, i was called down to the principals office
Brick9011: while sitting in one of the two charis in front of the secretary, i turned to one of the little boys actually in the fight and shrugged
Brick9011: as to say "i dont know what i'm doing here"
Brick9011: he shrugged back
Brick9011: he obviously knew what he did, but probably just didnt understand the gesture
Brick9011: when i was called into the offfice, mrs. patton asked me what i did during recess
Brick9011: once she had wormed out of me that i had said the word fight, she got angry
Brick9011: she told me that yelling fight during a fight, as to cheer it on, was a federal offense
Brick9011: i started to cry
Brick9011: i really just didnt want her to tell my parents
Brick9011: i hadent gotten spanked in a while, and i didnt plan on starting then
Brick9011: she let me go with 2 days off of recess, in her office doing work
Brick9011: when i got back to class, natalie medic wrote me a not to try to make me feel better
Brick9011: i didnt
Brick9011: just a lot worse cuz i felt like a P*s*y
Brick9011: i didnt tell my parents
Brick9011: and to this day believe that they still dont know
Brick9011: as i mentioned earlier, kayla durick was one of my best friends
Brick9011: during gym class in the spring, we started to square dance
Brick9011: i really wanted her for my partner
Brick9011: cuz she was sort of pretty
Brick9011: dam it all when i got amber morrisson, the girl that sucks on her sweatshirt sleeves, and then pulls them over her hands
Brick9011: i picked up on it quickly, and decided to be in the square dancing night, a demonstration night for the parents
Brick9011: i wasnt kayla's partner, but i did dance with her during the fun dance afterwards
Brick9011: that same year,i tried out for the jump rope team
Brick9011: so did lexie pelchen
Brick9011: i made it, she didnt
Brick9011: i started the team in 2nd grade, and went with it through 5th
Brick9011: in 2nd grade i had mrs. harvey, the mother of the high schools spanish teacher
Brick9011: some say she was a mean old bat, but she was always my favorite teacher
Brick9011: she was very big on spelling, and writing in cursive
Brick9011: she would meticulously check over our cursive worksheets, but i think it was really all just for show
Brick9011: we also played a game called cherry pie, which is like sparkle, the spelling game
Brick9011: nothing really exciting happened in 2nd grade, except for that i left square dancing night before i got to dance with kayla in the fun dance
Brick9011: in third grade, i had miss kladney
Brick9011: she always had this really black lip hair that never seemed to go away
Brick9011: im not sure if she just didnt notice, or it grew back really fast
Brick9011: we learned our multiplacation tables that year
Brick9011: i did have a little trouble,
Brick9011: that year i also got into the GOAL program
Brick9011: every year, i waited for international day
Brick9011: it was the best day of the year
Brick9011: i was so upset that i had to miss it in 2nd grade, because i had a meeting for my confirmation
Brick9011: but how happy i was that not only would i be there, i would be IN international day
Brick9011: i did my project on slovenia, a small country in the middle of europer
Brick9011: *europe
Brick9011: i did the project with my next door neighbor, lauren hennessy, who had also just joined GOAl
Brick9011: when we were making a dish for the food court, a tradishional nut bread, i think i first realized that i had an allergy to some nuts
Brick9011: after the taste test, my throat felt all tight and hot, and i was dizzy and weak
Brick9011: i had to go home and lie down
Brick9011: i thought that i was going to throw up
Brick9011: but i didnt
Brick9011: also in third grade, we started to do science
Brick9011: like real science
Brick9011: we would mix iodine with a starch liqud, and it would change coloer
Brick9011: *colors
Brick9011: i was partnered with jeff elam, and 2 girls
Brick9011: he started to bang his head off his folder to be funny, because he wasnt with his friends, so i did too
Brick9011: we both had to stay in for 10 minutes of recess that day
Brick9011: in 4th grade i had mrs. mcnair
Brick9011: the only thing that i really remember is that we did a play on the rain forest
Brick9011: i was the 3 toed sloth, so i had to speak slowly, which was hard for me
Brick9011: we made our masks in art class
Brick9011: i covered mine in string, to make it look like fur
Brick9011: it was pretty nifty
Brick9011: also, we did this project with animals
Brick9011: centepides, crabs, crickets and frogs
Brick9011: i really wanted to keep a crab
Brick9011: or a frog
Brick9011: or even a centepide
Brick9011: i got nothing
Brick9011: and that b**** emily shuhart got like 3 frogs
Brick9011: it sucked
Brick9011: in 5th grade i had mr. hixon
Brick9011: BEST
Brick9011: TEACHER
Brick9011: EVER
Brick9011: he was my social studies teacher
Brick9011: oneday, he brought in a hide from a buffalo
Brick9011: and talked about the plains
Brick9011: and how they would burn cow patties because they didnt have any wood
Brick9011: everyone thought it was gross, and said that they werent going to be able to eat lunch
Brick9011: i said that too, but i gobbled my lunch down, cuz i wanted to get back to class
Brick9011: that year, my science teacher was mr. kester
Brick9011: he gave us the sex talk
Brick9011: "now kids, say it with me.... PENIS. PENIS. PENIS. P-E-N-I-S. now luke, dont laugh"
Brick9011: it was so hard not to laugh
Brick9011: also, he was our english teacher
Brick9011: he had us make word searches our of our spelling words
Brick9011: one day i found the word 'ass
Brick9011: in the scrambles letters
Brick9011: i told mr. kester, and he made the girl that wrote it apologize
Brick9011: she was really sorry, and was afraid that i found it "offnsive"
Brick9011: i felt bad for her
Brick9011: cuz i thought it was just really funny
Brick9011: on a side note, our teacher fed his plants black coffe
Brick9011: e
Brick9011: he snuck it from the teachers lounge
Brick9011: not sure why
Brick9011: that year, my math teacher was my old preeschool teacher
Brick9011: she had gotten remarried
Brick9011: that year i also rebecame friends with "belle"
Brick9011: she was really into musicals
Brick9011: i could never understand them
Brick9011: but she liked them, so i liked them
Brick9011: she was in LOVE with the PHANTOM OF THE OPERA
Brick9011: especially the man in the movie, gerard butler
Brick9011: this man must die
Brick9011: from then on i was obsessed with her
Brick9011: 6th grade was incredibly boring
Brick9011: i had Mrs. zorch for english, mr. zavatsky for science, and mrs. lapresti for social studies
Brick9011: mrs lapresti kicked MAJA ASSAGE!!!
Brick9011: she was so cool
Brick9011: she had us completely teach ourselves a whole chapter, and then make a pop up book about what we learned
Brick9011: i wrapped mine as a "mummie" in tea soaked gauze
Brick9011: it was sooo cool
Brick9011: mr. zavatsky was a douch
Brick9011: e
Brick9011: *douche
Brick9011: he would never teach us any thing
Brick9011: he would get way off track, like from making paper, to a good zuchinni recipie
Brick9011: although the unit in which we made paper was fun
Brick9011: mrs. zorch was okay
Brick9011: looking back, she wasnt that great
Brick9011: we read books about the holocaust,and wrote poetry
Brick9011: i wrote mine on wicked
Brick9011: it was 3 pages
Brick9011: AND. it rhymed
Brick9011: hoo baby
Brick9011: of course, elly's was 5 pages about figure skating, and she didnt have to try to rhyme somthing with 'dear old shiz'
Brick9011: mine still rocked though
Brick9011: mrs. zorch smiled alot
Brick9011: sortof like pre-botox generation
Brick9011: in 7th grade, i went to the jr. high
Brick9011: during orientation, i discovered B.O
Brick9011: i had never found the need to wear deodorant until now
Brick9011: i was freaked about the idea of having to undress in school for gym
Brick9011: but i got over it
Brick9011: mrs. manges was my fav. teach
Brick9011: mr. burnette was closeted queet
Brick9011: *queet
Brick9011: *queer
Brick9011: mrs. bell was really tan
Brick9011: mrs. plundo was okay, but i fell asleep in her class, and had to try to hide a little sumthin sumthin behind a book
Brick9011: i forget my history teachers name, but we watched ghandi, and learned about religion . pretty cool
Brick9011: mrs. hoops was fun for a bit, but then got really controlling, and i didnt understand the concept of 'cells'
Brick9011: then i had trimester
Brick9011: mrs. wade=old botox ass
Brick9011: art= amazing lady, sorta reminded me of my grandmother
Brick9011: and i didnt do music, because i was in band and chorus
Brick9011: then i learned the wonders of the pribby
Brick9011: what a fun fun time
Brick9011: for most of the year, i thought i was mostly well liked in choral cats
Brick9011: turns out i was wrong
Brick9011: "belle" really was my only friend, besides my friends that abused me verbally, which i severly dislike now
Brick9011: as of 8th grade, i am no longer friends with those people
Brick9011: also, there was this kid named BRYCE
Brick9011: he was kinda cool
Brick9011: really good voice
Brick9011: and funny
Brick9011: i slapped him when i felt necessary, which i thought was funny
Brick9011: he didnt so mucjh
Brick9011: *much
Brick9011: i have learned to supress those urges
Brick9011: i was in FKF, which was i made most of my friends
Brick9011: michelle,amber,bryce,megan,sanye,amanda,somewhat lucas
Brick9011: adam and trevor really didnt acknowledge me
Brick9011: that spring, katti grosso happened
Brick9011: it was sorta weird
Brick9011: like i knew her
Brick9011: but not really well
Brick9011: so when she asked me out, i had to say no
Brick9011: but after some coaching from my parents, i asked for another chance
Brick9011: it went pretty good for a while
Brick9011: i met some ass Sh** called "nick" who thought he was black
Brick9011: aparently him and katti had sort of a history
Brick9011: at my pool party, every one was like "why havent you kissed her"
Brick9011: the tension seemed to get to her
Brick9011: during finding nemo, we both just looked at eachother and *pop*
Brick9011: 10 minutes later, *pop*
Brick9011: before she left, *pop*
Brick9011: i was testing out this new found body part called 'lips'
Brick9011: that didnt last very long
Brick9011: but it was fun
Brick9011: 8th grade
Brick9011: boring
Brick9011: got new friends
Brick9011: jess, rach, adam, trev, mick,
Brick9011: oh wair
Brick9011: *wait
Brick9011: something else happend
Brick9011: what was it...
Brick9011: ...
Brick9011: OH YEAH
Brick9011: i meet this really awesome chick named cassie, and was like "woah. this girl is too rock for me to handle"
Brick9011: but she turned out to be really fun
Brick9011: and cool
Brick9011: and a dancer
Brick9011: so we became basically best friends
Brick9011: it was mucho gusto
Brick9011: (idk what that means. doesnt even make sense in spanish)
Brick9011: godspell was fun
Brick9011: met shawnway, miss r, and miss j.
Brick9011: f***ed up a solo
Brick9011: and F***ed up a speech in the guys dressing room
Brick9011: summer
Brick9011: hung out with cass and bryce alittle but
Brick9011: *bit
Brick9011: 9th grade was good
Brick9011: *is good
Brick9011: i had finally found my niche
Brick9011: although i had a little faith crisis over the summer, i was sure that with a little counseling that i could handle it
Brick9011: i had good classed, good friends
Brick9011: a good part in the musical
Brick9011: although i dint see cassie as much
Brick9011: but she did have an awesome halloween party
Brick9011: and it was well
Brick9011: well, except for rach.
Brick9011: but were cool now.
Brick9011: i'm dont
Brick9011: *done
Brick9011: u still there
Brick9011: ?
zeikiskewl: yeah
Brick9011: was that enough talking
Brick9011: ?
zeikiskewl: yeah
Brick9011: you okay?
zeikiskewl: yeah
Brick9011: is that all you can say?
zeikiskewl: i dont really know what to say, are you mad?
Brick9011: no
Brick9011: why?
Brick9011: i just got alot off my chest
zeikiskewl: well thank you, for telling me all of that
Brick9011: thanks for listening
Brick9011: and im really sorry that im not coming tomorrow
Brick9011: i really do miss you cassie
zeikiskewl: i miss you too
Brick9011: 11:50:08 PM):
Brick9011: thats when this whole schpiel started
DESPAIR
when the truth that lies behind the world is:
you are alone.
disconnected from the world
every moment is lived in isolation
every thought goes unheard
you don't react to the world.
it reacts to you. and however angry up you are
thats how the world will be.
your perception will be distorted
and you will have to live with that choice.
:::
whenever people speak of the world, you would normally think of the EARTH. with water, and land, and bird, and reptiles, and humans, and the countless other creatures that call it home.
but don't they also speak of the world that you create for youself?
the relationships you build.
the plans you make.
and the lies you tell yourself everynight before you go to sleep.
because in the end you are
:::alone:::
nothing more.nothing less.
Friday, January 16, 2009
MOCKERY
to take a que from nature:why should men form opinions?
deer don't have political parties.
wolves don't have political parties.
deer are all deer.
and wolves are all wolves.
some deer don't say,
"we want more foliage!"
and others,
"no, give it to the other species!"
they just are, and be, and eat.
quite simple.
and some wolves don't say,
"we want to eat deer!"
and others,
"we want to eat roadkill!"
and still others,
"we should all like the taste of man best!"
they just are, and be, and eat.
so while you sit there,
and yell
and cheer
for the man of the year won big.
and you sore losers
moan and groan
for our world may be in shambles.
we should all praise.
and sing.
for the sun has rose again.
we should all be happy
and wish the best for the men.
for we may not like our neighbors,
but we all must be deer.
or wolves.
as one.
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